Unlikely Candidate

I felt like such an unlikely candidate to be inspiring women to record the stories of their faith.  Years of grief over my family combined with the onset of menopause had taken their toll. My personal faith was at an all time low.  I had given up on the promises of God!  I would look back over old journal entries and insightful notes written during Church or Bible College and wonder who that person was. Some mornings I was so depressed that I would turn on the television, watch the morning news programs and still be sitting there hours later as Larry Lawnmower scrolled before my eyes!

 

Zach was deteriorating further ... I was beginning to have concerns about his mental health. The crunch came in March 2011. He rang in tears saying he was confused, suicidal and didn’t know who he was anymore.

The first night I invited Zach to come back to church with me, I wasn’t sure we’d even make it! By the time he actually got in the car, we were running 20 minutes late, ...then he broke down as we sat in the driveway. He was crying, yelling and swearing ... asking what was going on. 

 

I said “We’re going to church Zach” and slowly backed out of the driveway. Before we hit the highway, he started again. I pulled over to try and calm him down. More crying, more yelling, more swearing. I said ‘It’s like this Zach, we are either going to church or we are going to the hospital’ and we headed off again. I may have sounded confident, but I was very aware that once we were on the highway this situation could become dangerous. 

 

I’d like to say his life changed that night, but he had a way to go yet.    He told me later that he was paranoid and was thinking people at the church would kill him. He made no sense at all and at times when he was talking I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my face ... I thought he had lost his mind! He would go from talking non-stop to not talking at all for weeks ... He was sad ... He was angry ... He was scary.

 

It was in the middle of this that God tapped me on the shoulder ... "Remember those Faithbooks ... I asked you to take them to the Queensland Women's Conference!"  What?  Conference 2011 was six weeks away ... I wasn't even going to the conference ... I didn't even have any Faithbooks ... I didn't want to leave Zach!

Meet Zach

While I was busy helping other teenagers at a Crisis Accommodation Shelter, my 17 year old son Zach was having his own crisis. He stopped going to Church, stopped talking and I would arrive home in the morning after an overnight shift to find him still in bed when he should have been at school. My beautiful boy with so much promise started to console himself with alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana. I felt like I had lost my son and I was heart-broken.

As Zach continued to deteriorate for the next seven years, I don’t mind telling you that my confidence was pretty shaky and I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. The boy who’d been a ‘pleasure to teach’ in school and received an award for Academic Industry struggled to complete Year 12. He couldn’t seem to apply himself to a job for more than a few months and was withdrawing further and further into himself.

In January 2010, during worship at Church, I saw a picture in my mind of myself at the Qld Christian Womens annual Conference with a display of Faithbooks. I thought ‘God, why would you choose me? I don’t feel like I have much faith and besides I don’t even have any faithbooks or even a success story ... so I did what I do best ... I procrastinated! Conference 2010 came and went.

The Journey Begins

I first heard about Faithbooking several years ago when  Creative Memories  Co-founder, Rhonda Anderson, had been to Australia for
their annual conference.  My up-line leader, Amanda, said of all the consultants in her team she wished I had been there to hear
Rhonda speak. 

I loved being a Creative Memories Consultant.  I loved teaching other women to make albums like mine, but Amanda knew I was struggling with my 'why' ... you know the thing that gets you out of bed in the morning ... the thing that keeps you going.  I didn't get excited about money or what it could buy, but Amanda knew
I did get excited about my faith.